Jun 07

Battle of the Bulges

Miss Maryland is a man;

Miss Alabama is a van.

You might have tab; you might have a slot

You can be a Miss even if you are not.

I’d say she was fat, but that would be rude;

Wait a minute, that other one is a dude.

Judges decide if the better man wins

Or do we give it to the girl with all those chins?

Can’t wait for Miss USA and all it promulges

But I think they should call it the battle of the bulges.

United States Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts: “Who?”

Jay Sekulow: “He doesn’t hide his Jewish identity, nor could he…he’s about 6’7″–he’s the tallest Jew I’ve ever met in my life.“

Wilton Daniel Gregory, Archbishop of Atlanta: “Who the hell let this guy in the Church?”

New York Times: “[Hirsh’s] muscular writings are the centerpiece of the episode.”

U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts: “Who?”

Jay Sekulow: “He doesn’t hide his Jewish identity, nor could he…he’s about 6’7″–he’s the tallest Jew I’ve ever met in my life.”

Wilton Daniel Gregory, Archbishop of Atlanta: “Who the hell let this guy in?”

New York Times: “[Hirsh’s] muscular writings are the centerpiece of the episode.”

Maria T. Vullo, Attorney for Planned Parenthood: “He’s the mastermind of the entire prolife movement.”