Brazil’s President Bolsonaro: Just a Regular Guy

Pope Francis chimes in.

Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro suggested Friday that people “poop every other day” as a way to save the environment, after he came under fire for a surge in deforestation of the Amazon since he came to power.  “It’s enough to eat a little less. You talk about environmental pollution. It’s enough to poop every other day. That will be better for the whole world,” said Bolsonaro

According to Bolsonaro’s plan, those with surnames ending in letters A – L will empty their bowels on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  Those last names ending in letters M through Z will be allowed to defecate on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturday.  There will be no Brazilian BM’s on Sunday as outlined in the official decree.

Bolsonaro’s bowel control decree was met with approval by his fellow South American and Climate Change expert, Pope Francis.  Said the visible head of the Roman Catholic Church: “We are obliged to think of the world as operating on one global plan.  This is a good start.  Any Catholic in Brazil caught pooping on a day other than the one appointed will be suspended from the Eucharist.

When asked if the same Church discipline would be meted out to those living active homosexual life styles or actively participating and supporting abortion, the Pontiff was equally clear: “Who am I to judge?