Finally. An alternative to Soul Cycle.

Chrissy Teigen launches new endeavor!

Chrissy Teigen, the world’s most annoying woman, has announced she is cancelling her membership of two popular gyms in protest at the owner’s decision to hold a fund-raiser for President Trump.  Billionaire U.S. tycoon Stephen Ross, owner of the NFL’s Miami Dolphins, and whose many companies include Equinox and SoulCycle, is throwing a party today at his home in the Hamptons to raise money for Trump, a friend of more than 40 years.

But Mrs. John Legend is not having any of it.  According to the ever-articulate Ms. Teigen, “I don’t normally make posts like this, but a lot of my very cool socially aware, progressive, awesome, amazing friends are members of Equinox or SoulCycle. And I just want to let you know that their owner is hosting a giant Trump fund-raiser and so… F*** THEM. Cancel your memberships today. You can come to my house to work out but yeah, just think about it.  I’m naming this new venture SOUL-LESS CYCLE.  Isn’t that so trendy and awesome!

Teigen later clarified the ‘come to my house’ invite: “The only ‘dues’ are that you have to show up in a limosine that’s been paid for by your husband’s money.  I mean, it’s not like we want just anyone to show up.