Kirsten Gillibrand courts the Traditional Family Values Vote.

A Girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

New York junior senator Kirsten Gillibrand is marginal candidate in 2020 Democratic primaries.  She acknowledged her position is in peril, pleading: “Please go to kirstengillibrand.com so I can make the next debate stage.

Gillibrand was one of the candidates on stage Wednesday night, and falls toward the end of the pack. In an average of major polls, she earned 0.5 per cent support from likely Democratic primary voters.  She admitted at the end that this could be her last appearance.

While the pack of Democratic hopefuls were tripping all over each other, each trying to portray themselves to be more radical than the rest, Gillibrand stole the spotlight when asked about her position on Domestic Policy.   Apparently thinking of a different meaning of “domestic”, Gilibrand responded:  “The first thing that I am going to do is Clorox the Oval Office.

Sensing That Gillibrand had inadvertently gotten off the Democrat plantation, CNN Moderator and Democratic Operative Dana Bash, attempted to make light of the slip.  In so doing, Bash committed the second faux pas of the evening, “You know, Senator, that Bill Clinton hasn’t been in the oral – I mean Oval Office for nearly two decades.

While the audience roared with laughter, Gillibrand misread the enthusiasm and doubled down: “And after that I’m going to do the White House dishes, fold the laundry, and then give my husband a foot massage.

After the debate, it was reported that the Democratic National Committee leadership gave Senator Gillibrand a stern talking-to.

Domestic goddess goes barefoot.

Gillibrand took to Twitter to clarify her response:

In last night’s debate I was asked a question about Domestic Policy.  With all the excitement, I had a bit of a peroxide moment.  What I meant to say is that the first thing I would do as President is to perform an abortion on myself in the Oval Office.  Then I’ll do all that other stuff.

The DNC retweeted Gillibrand’s statement with the comment, “Now that’s more like it.

 

Rep. Ilhan Omar seen flaunting disregard for Sharia Law.

Seen spending time with man who is not her husband.

While the rest of the Muslim world is continuing in its path of peace, Representative Ilhan Omar  was thumbing her hajib at Sharia Law.   Under that code, often implemented where Rep. Omar comes from, a woman is forbidden to be in the company of a man who is not her husband.

Sharia’s punishment for the crime.

Omar and her man-friend companion were caught leaving  a romantic, out-of-the-way Italian restaurant in California the day after she had made controversial remarks blaming 9/11 on ‘someone doing something.’

She left Caffé Pinguini in Playa Del Rey, a beachside enclave in Los Angeles, with a man who took pains not to allow the couple to be photographed.  One eyewitness observed Omar and her companion holding hands while dining inside the bistro.

Last week  Omar, 36, has left her husband Ahmed Hirsi — the father of her three children. She has moved into a luxury penthouse apartment in the trendy Mill District of Minneapolis.  Her private life has become the subject of massive speculation amid accusations that her second husband Ahmed Nur Said Elmi is in fact her brother and she only married him to get him entry to the United States.

She later divorced Elmi and remarried Hirsi, but now that marriage is headed for a second divorce.   Omar, 36, has refused to address her marriages, leading to criticism from political rivals and her hometown newspaper.

When asked for an explanation for the secret rendevous, Rep. Omar intoned (as she often does): “We were just some people doing something.”

Arrested Michigan 10 year old lands MLB pitching gig.

Will join team as soon as he’s on probation.

Things are looking up for 10 year  old Bryce Lindley.

Bryce is the soon to be fifth grader from Wayne County, Michigan.  He’s been arrested for assault (charges are pending in Wayne County juvenile court).  Bryce is accused of joining with others encircling a group of classmates in a threatening manner.  While in this formation, Bryce – it is alleged – intentionally threw a medium-sized inflated object at the head of another 10 year old, striking that child.  Or, as the rest of the country calls it, Dodge Ball.

Bryce, who is black, threw the ball at the victim, who is white.  While some were quick to cry “racism”, Bryce  has offered that he drilled the victim with the ball not because he was white but because he was fat and slow.  Police were not buying it.

The injured child’s mother — who declined to release her name or her child’s to the public — says her son had a previous medical condition that made him susceptible to head injuries. When asked if she had ever considered telling her son not to play games that might result in head injuries, the mother said, “Uh, no.  Why do you ask?”

Further, she alleges that this particular injury was no accident, adding that he “sustained facial tissue damage to his face” where it seems nearly 100% of facial tissue injuries occur. She says that her son had already experienced similar incidents while engaging in physical activities at school, and that she “tried not to let it get to this point.”  She further opined that the school is also liable for not consulting with the NFL to adopt its concussion protocol.

But every dark cloud has a silver lining.

When Major League Baseball got wind of the little Bryce’s throwing prowess, the 10 year old was inundated with offers.  Said one MLB talent scout: “Heck, we intentionally throw at batters all the time.  We like to think of ourselves as role models.  If Bryce can pick off a moving target with a volleyball, he’ll be an ace when it comes to brushing back batters.”

 

Walmart customer puts the “P” in Potatoes.

In what seems to be a rash of potato crimes . . .

A Pennsylvania woman was not to be outdone by her Massachusetts colleague who made of with 50 pounds of spuds.

Grace Brown is accused of urinating on potatoes inside a Pennsylvania Walmart.  She has reportedly turned herself in to authorities Tuesday afternoon, according to a local news outlet.  Apparently Ms. Brown really had to go as the bizarre incident took place late July 24 into early July 25. The West Mifflin Police Department released photos of the woman taken from surveillance video at the store in hopes that someone in the community would identify her.

Upon her arrest, Ms. Brown claimed to be the victim in all this: “Why does Walmart have cameras in the bathroom!”

 

When this Five Guys’ customer says “biggie size it” he’s serious.

THAT’S  TO GO.

A Waltham, Massachusetts man was finishing up his meal.  He apparently, ordered some biggie fries to go.  So on his way out, he grabbed one of the 50 pound bags that the thoughtful management had placed by the door.

Images taken from restaurant’s surveillance footage, and later shared to Facebook by police, show two men ordering food at the counter of the restaurant, and later, one of them grabbing a sack of potatoes to go.

On Tuesday evening, police confirmed the suspect had actually reached out to contact them. The Waltham Police were not immediately available to confirm whether he was charged with any crimes.

In other potato news . . . .

Dude in a dress accesses 80,000 credit cards.

Conclusive proof the he really is a she.

What’s in your wallet?

A Seattle-based transgender former Amazon engineer has been arrested for allegedly hacking Capital One bank’s systems to steal data it was storing on Amazon’s Web Services cloud. Paige Thompson, the ex-Amazon employee and erstwhile ex-guy, was able to hack into Capital One’s computers and purloined  80,000 credit cards, over 100 million names, and 140,000 social security numbers.  The info belonged to CapOne but was stored on Amazon’s Cloud.

Paige Thompson, 33, was arrested for breaking into the bank’s systems to steal the addresses, phone numbers and names of 100 million people in the United States. Thompson allegedly pulled it off, as they say in the tranny universe, between March and July of this year by breaking into the bank’s servers through a misconfiguration in its firewall.

Paige’s obvious difficulty correctly identifying plumbing and his current legal woes, has led him to make social media posts about being suicidal and has also stated his desire to be deported.  He got busted by bragging about the feat online.  He apparently gave up the goods when police asked, “What’s in your wallet?”

Said Paige: “It all started after the surgery.  I just love to shop.  And Amazon has such amazing deals.”

Philippine President Duterte: “I am Pharaoh!”

Two plagues down.  Eight to go.  Stay tuned.

God’s Chief Advisor

Philippine President Rodrigo “Pharaoh” Duterte threw another punch in his perennial fight with the Catholic Church.  Notwithstanding the fact that 80% of the 100 million residents of the fiefdom are Roman Catholic, Duterte asserted today that “the Catholic Church’s dogma was simply not acceptable to my God-given common sense.”  When pressed for some evidence for this claimed common sense, Duterte responded with an out-stretched middle finger.  The Philippine strongman then  ordered: “More bricks, less straw.”

This many flies can’t be wrong.

Upon this edict Duterte was set upon by flies.  The flies are Scathophaga stercoraria, more commonly known as the yellow dung fly, known particularly for their excrement locating prowess.  “I’ve had fights with priests for a long time.  These flies are taking orders from them.  They’ve been following me all week. ”  Duterte latter cursed the flies and made a failed attempt to swat one that landed on his nose.

Today’s incident was not the first time Duterte had a public appearance ruined by insects.  In May of this year, cockroaches crawled up his shoulder and down the front of his shirt as he spoke at a campaign rally.

A local priest was asked if he had anything to do with either plague.  Speaking on the condition of anonymity for fear of reprisals – from the Vatican – the priest admitted that the bugs were in fact doing his bidding: “Yes, I sent them.  But it’s not really a miracle.  It’s just what they do.  The next eight plagues . . . well those are going to be something.”

 

White Privileged MAGA hat lover, deports a Mexican.

Racist Gull tells Mexican to “Go back where you came from.  In fact, I’ll take you there myself.”

Possible retaliation for chewing up a MAGA hat.

Reports are coming out of England that mobs of mostly-white seagulls are searching for less-privileged birds and mammals in a globally-warmed environment  that is leading to a scarcity of food.  Some of the more ravenous gulls are even resorting to cannibalizing more junior members of the group.

Rebecca Hill is desperate to get her beloved chihuahua Gizmo back.  Her beloved pooch was napped in broad daylight.  She said the bird swooped and carried off the pooch as partner Ashley Rawlings looked on horrified.

The usual suspects.

Pictures have emerged of a fierce-looking seagull close to the home as a search for the beloved dog continues.  One neighbor said: “It is impossible to know if this particular gull was responsible but the way he was lurking must surely make him the prime suspect.”

Speaking to a British tabloid yesterday, pregnant Becca, 24, urged neighbors to keep an eye out for her loveable pet in the desperate hope he is still be alive.  She sobbed: “I’m just hoping he’s been dropped somewhere and can’t get out or he’s on a roof and can’t get down.”

Ms. Hill continued, “If these animals want to feed on themselves, that’s on them, but to pick on my Mexican Chihuahua, who was here legally, is sub-human.  As long as US President Trump continues a blind eye toward climate change, this is only going to get worse!” She observed.  “All this started when sweet Gizmo was caught chewing on a MAGA hat” Ms. Hill lamented.

When asked how the US Prez was responsible for climate change in Great Britain, Ms. Hill simply repeated, “Gizmo, Gizmo.”  When a reporter observed that seagulls actually are sub-human, Ms. Hill shot back “Species Snob!”

Becca initially posted an appeal on Facebook for help in finding Gizmo but had to then take it down after she was targeted by sick trolls making fun of her plight.

The Lucky Rabbit’s Foot

On Friday, a gruesome rabbit leg – initially feared to belong to missing Gizmo – was discovered by walker Natalie Williams on a roof colonized by seagulls that is littered with animal debris.  A chicken’s head and a dead gull – cannibalized by other gulls – have also been found at the site.

Experts believe gulls are becoming increasingly cannibalistic – as well as developing a taste for other birds and mammals – as the UK’s seawater temperatures soar due to climate change.

Behold! The Compassion of the Wicked.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

These figures are from an official copy of the Bill, Hillary and Chelsea Clinton Foundation for the tax year 2014.  The copy of the tax return is from the National Center for Charitable Statistics website!  You can get the latest tax return on any charitable organization!

 Total revenue (line 12) $177,804,612.00
(177.8 MILLION DOLLARS)

Total grants to charity (line 13) $5,160,385.00 (that’s less than 3%)

Total expenses of $91,281,145.00 Expenses include:

Salaries (line 15) $34,838,106.00

Fund raising fees (line 16a) $850,803.00

Other expenses (line 17) $50,431,851.00

Travel $8,000,000.00

Meetings $12,000,000.00

They list 486 employees (line 5)!  It took 486 people who are paid $34.8 million and $91.3 million in fees and expenses to give away $5.1 MILLION.

Line 22 shows ending year net assets/fund balances of $332,471,349.00 which is up $85,171,891 from last year’s tax return!  And they call this a CHARITY?

The full tax return is at:

http://990finder.foundationcen ter.org/990results.aspx?990_ type=&fn=clinton+foundation

White like me.

That moment of disappointment when you find out you’re not the victim you always thought you were.

 

Just another beneficiary of #WhitePrivilege.

 

H/T to J. Hirsh