Scientists applaud discovering Book of Genesis

We are shocked that we actually found this.”

What happened to the dinosaurs when an asteroid about six miles wide struck Earth in what is today Mexico is well known: It wiped them out. But the exact fate of our planet’s diverse ocean dwellers at the time — shelly ammonites, giant mosasaurs and other sea creatures — has not been as well understood.

New scientific research now makes the case that the same “incident” that helped bring an end to the reign of the dinosaurs also acidified the planet’s oceans, disrupted the food chain that sustained life underwater and resulted in a mass extinction. The study, published Monday in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, points to a source hitherto alien to ‘learned scientists’: the Book of Genesis.  Turns out that the cataclysmic event described therein would account perfectly for the acidified oceans, disrupted food chains, and extinction of the pre-historic giants on land and sea.

What meaneth these strange sayings?

At the center for this landmark discovery is an elusive section of Genesis, which has been given the code name ‘Chapter 7‘.  According to a copy of the discovery that has been surreptitiously obtained, through chicanery, no doubt is a section that says:

And every living substance was destroyed which was upon the face of the ground, both man, and cattle, and the creeping things, and the fowl of the heaven; and they were destroyed from the earth: and Noah only remained alive, and they that were with him in the ark.

“It’s flash acidification, and it transformed ecosystems almost instantly and irreversibly,” said the ironically named Noah Planavsky, a biogeochemist at Yale and one of the study’s authors.

“We were shocked that we actually found this.”

Science: Ozone hole smallest since discovered.

Scientists: “Bummer.


NASA scientists are baffled and disappointed.  The hole in the ozone layer of the earth’s atmosphere is smaller than it has ever been.  And as if the evidence had to add insult to injury, the data also shows that the hole is smaller because of warmer temperatures world wide.

The hole in the ozone layer has shrunk to its smallest size since scientists began monitoring it in 1982 because of unusual weather patterns in the upper atmosphere over Antarctica, according to NASA.  The hole fluctuates in size annually and is usually largest during the coldest months in the southern hemisphere, from late September to early October.

The latest observations from space have shown the hole now covers less than 3.9million square miles – a record low and almost half as small as it was during its peak at 6.3million on September 8 only six weeks ago. Experts say the hole is usually around 8 million square miles during this time of year.

Paul Newman, chief scientist for Earth Sciences at NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center said it is “great news for ozone in the Southern Hemisphere.   But it’s important to recognize that what we’re seeing this year is due to warmer stratospheric temperatures. It’s not a sign that atmospheric ozone is suddenly on a fast track to recovery.  Even though we always told people that ‘global warming’ was causing the depletion of the ozone layer.”

This year’s warmer global temperatures — aided by unusual weather patterns — have therefore helped to limit  damage the ozone layer.  In turn, this has led to a much smaller ozone hole this year than we have previously seen. On the surface, the strengthening of the ozone layer would seem to be a promising development — as such serves to better protect the Earth from harmful ultraviolet radiation from the Sun.

But for many in the atmosphere, global warming is not only a source of their livelihood, it directly impacts their ability to help push through policies, regulations, taxes, and other means of controlling people.  So, scientifically speaking, this is Bummerous Maximus.

Pachamama idols go for swim; Pope not feeling so honored.

My, what a difference a month makes.

Why it was just last month that Pope Francis was luxuriating in criticism.  He called it “an honor” when he was ‘attacked’ by Americans.

You see there were these four idols, that the Vatican called “Indigenous symbols of life” which translated to English is “idols”.  Well, just the other day a couple of faithful Catholics  quietly entered a Catholic Church in Rome where some Amazonian fertility idols had been enshrined.  Long story short, the men took the idols and threw them in the Tiber River.  Video of the action:


In response, the Vatican’s editorial director, Andrea Tornielli, got his vestments all in a bunch and decried the removal of the idols, “In the name of tradition and doctrine, an effigy of maternity and the sacredness of life was dumped in contempt,” Tornielli said the incident was a “violent and intolerant gesture”, which violence the video failed to capture.  Tornielli said that the thieves had “passed from hate on social media to action”. He said it was shocking that one conservative Catholic website headlined its story on the theft “Justice is Served.”  Tornielli added, “Atsa my idols you a throwing in da Tiber.

Pope Francis, commenting aboard the Papal Jet on his way to Monaco said, “OK.  you can stop honoring me now.”



Pope: Idol worship not so bad after all.

Some new bishops, if Bergoglio gets his way.

Pope Francis’ controversial meeting on the Amazon took a criminal twist Monday after thieves stole indigenous fertility statues from a Vatican-area church and tossed them into the Tiber River.

Video of the pre-dawn theft from the Santa Maria in Traspontina church was shared and celebrated on conservative social media. The Vatican’s communications czar, Paolo Ruffini, termed it a “stunt” that violated the idea of dialogue.

Even before the three-week Amazon synod opened on Oct. 6, conservative and traditionalist Catholics had blasted its agenda as a heretical celebration of paganism, given its deference to indigenous cultures and spirituality.

Their criticism reached a fever pitch at the synod opening, when Francis presided over a prayer service in the Vatican gardens featuring the statues of naked pregnant women that were presented to the pope. Conservatives said the “Pachamama” statutes were pagan idols; the Vatican said they were symbols of life and fertility.

The statues were then placed in a side chapel of the Traspontina church, which is located just steps from St. Peter’s Square and has been the headquarters of the indigenous celebrations organized alongside the synod.

There was no official claim of responsibility for the thefts, but a conservative U.S. author, Taylor Marshall, issued a statement and tweeted the video of it.

“I announce to you with great joy: the Pachamama idols that polluted the Church of St Maria Traspontina have been cast away into the Tiber River as an act of obedience to Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in reparation to His Sacred Heart wounded by sin,” Marshall tweeted.

No known connection, but locals report fish spawning like maniacs.

NBA Called out for ‘Black Privilege.’

League subject to ‘Diversity Compliance’ measures.

Adam Silver

The NBA, still licking its wounds over the “Free Hong Kong” controversy is now dealing with another crisis.  While Whites factor into approximately 77% of the general population of the United States, their numbers literally pale in comparison to a paltry 11% of the NBA players.  Conversely, Blacks comprise about 17% of the general population but represent over 80% of players.


While the NBA (and other sports teams) have long gotten a pass on the Affirmative Action laws that govern nearly every other aspect of American life, those days now appear to be over.  Critics of the league have cited the institutional ‘Black Privilege’ that exists in the pro basketball ranks.  “Gone are the days when White guys were stars – Larry Bird, Bill Walton, Jerry West.  Now White guys are under-represented.  They hardly stand a chance.  It’s just not fair.  It’s just not diverse.  And diversity is what’s best.” said the White American Sports Players (WASP) Union Executive.

Consummate White Guy, Adam Silver, who is also NBA Commissioner noted that “all players compete for playing positions and contract.  There is no racial profiling going on in the NBA.  It is strictly based on abilities.  These guys just need to work harder and step up their game rather than turn to the government for some sort of equalization of the racial breakdown of our league.”

Silver continued, “If the WASP has their way, the quality of our product is going to suffer greatly.  I mean, if we have mostly white teams, you might as well just watch the WNBA.  Or just say, ‘Made in China.'”


Pope Francis: Fatties are victims too.

Capitalism causes obesity.

Pope: “He or she? I can’t tell.”

Pope Francis said that there is a “distorted relationship between food and nutrition” in the world, resulting in both world hunger and obesity, even in poorer nations.  Food, says the Pontiff “is ceasing to be a means of subsistence and turning into an avenue of personal destruction.”

Francis said that these improper eating habits call for “a conversion in our way of living and acting,” which must begin with nutrition.  “Nutritional disorders can only be remedied by the cultivation of lifestyles.”  When a reporter questioned if the Pope meant that nutrition was the key to holiness, Francis obliquely responded, “nutritional virtues summon us to a more simple and sober life, and unfailing concern for the needs of those around us.”

Growing up in Argentina combined with training as a Jesuit, unavoidably leads Bergoglio to his Marxist roots.  As is his wont, the pope proposed that the problem of malnutrition and hunger are ultimately the by-products of the free market economy.

“The battle against hunger and malnutrition will not end as long as the logic of the market prevails and profit is sought at any cost, with the result that food is relegated to a mere commercial product subject to financial speculation and with little regard for its cultural, social and indeed symbolic importance.” The Argentinian Jesuit didn’t elaborate on what the “symbolic importance” of food was to hungry people.

Apparently believing that the Church had little to do with bad eating habits, the pope opined that, “To escape from this spiral, we need to promote economic institutions and social initiatives which can give the poor regular access to basic resources.”

“Besides,” Francis concluded, “with all these fatties, I can’t tell if it’s a guy or a girl.”


Extinction Rebellion facing extinction.

Commuters educate protesters on the finer points of Natural Selection.

Hilarity ensues.

Furious Londoners turned on Extinction Rebellion today with crowds of commuters dragging protesters down from the roofs of Tube carriages to rough them up on the station platform, while online the group was slammed for comparing its actions to those of civil rights legend Rosa Parks.

As their eco-protest enters its 11th day XR activists launched a coordinated strike on three London Underground stations, clambering on top of carriages and gluing themselves to doors despite Monday’s city-wide ban issued by the Met Police.

But their efforts to disrupt public transport were met with a furious backlash from commuters, industry groups and politicians leading one XR spokesman to admit the move had been a ‘huge own goal’.

Video surfaced from Canning Town station of a protester seemingly being beaten and kicked by angry workers on the station platform having been dragged bodily from the top of a train.

The group’s leaders have called off a planned protest at Gatwick airport ‘in light of’ the response to the Tube disruption and a spokesman said the group would ‘take stock’ before disrupting the Underground any further.

Eight protester arrests this morning brings the total since last Monday to 1,711 as police warn XR’s antics are pulling officers from community policing and stretching resources to breaking point.  As a result of the demand on police resources, Londoner’s have been granted immunity from any criminal prosecution related to their efforts to educate protesters on the application of Natural Selection.

One Londoner who had been involved in removing a protestor from the top of the train smilingly responded to the immunity, “We’ll be on those blokes like a pack of US Marines at a flag burning party! You thought they had bad teeth before!”

Clinton Science.

Doing for Biology what they did for Ethics.

For first time, Hillary admits that it’s her shortcomings that lead to disagreement.

The Mad Scientists

It may appear Hillary and Chelsea Clinton always see eye-to-eye, but in a recent interview one topic cracked the facade of the like-minded mother-daughter power duo.  The one issue Hillary and Chelsea don’t appear to agree on entirely is transgender self-identification.

In an interview with The Sunday Times, journalist Decca Aitkenhead asked the Clintons if someone with a beard and a penis can ever be a woman, to which Chelsea replied emphatically, ‘Yes.’

However, as Aitkenhead describes it, Hillary looked ‘uneasy’, and blamed generational gaps for being less accepting.

‘Errr. I’m just learning about this,’ Hillary responded. ‘It’s a very big generational discussion, because this is not something I grew up with or ever saw. It’s going to take a lot more time and effort to understand what it means to be defining yourself differently.’

According Aitkenhead’s account, she tells Hillary during the interview that many British feminists of Hillary’s generation have a problem with the idea that a ‘lesbian who doesn’t want to sleep with someone who has a penis is transphobic.’

Hillary nods in agreement, while Chelsea ‘stiffens and stares at me’, according to Aitkenhead.

The journalist then adds that many women of Hillary’s generation are uncomfortable with biological males sharing women’s bathrooms.  ‘I would say that, absolutely,’ Hillary nods firmly. ‘Absolutely. Yes.’

That’s when Chelsea begins shooting a ‘furious stare’ at Aitkenhead, who points it out to her.

“I’m a terrible actor,” Chelsea laughs; continuing, “Sure it’s not like any of the skanks my Dad brought home.  But still.”

Hillary chimed in, “Maybe that’s the problem.  I’ve always been able to BS my way through everything.  Like that time I was speaking to an African American audience and I went all old-time-negro like.  That was a classic.  And when I wiped the hard-drive ‘like with a cloth‘.  I still crack myself up with that one.”

Chelsea went on to say that she thought people should be able to play for whichever sports team that matched their self-identification.  The reporterette then asked, “So if the entire Atlanta Hawks basketball team identified as women, they could be in the WNBA?  Wouldn’t that be unfair to those penis-less, mostly unbearded women’s teams?”

Chelsea responded, “Well if you like your team you can keep your team.”


Trump: Instead of Border Wall, we’ll have Border Playground.

And Playskool’s going to pay for it.

8-year old Ky. girls climbs it in a minute.

President Trump walked back his beleaguered Border Wall today.  Last week the President told reporters in San Diego that the government tested wall prototypes with “20 mountain climbers” who concluded the design going up along the U.S.-Mexico border “was the one that was hardest to climb.”

Trump said the climbers invited to participate were “very good” – “some of them were champions” – and the bollard style barrier “can’t be climbed. This is very, very hard,” the president said.

Meet Lucy Hancock, an 8-year-old from Kentucky.  She is not a registered Democrat and except for some pretty serious lobbying for a later bed time, has no political affiliation.  Lucy , is proving her wall climbing chops.

The girl’s mother posted a video to Facebook this week of the third-grader scaling an exact replica of the 18-foot wall going up along miles of the southern border, and it took just over a minute for the youngster to crest the structure.

“Remember that border wall replica build by Rick Weber for a competition next weekend in the Red River Gorge?” Karla Hancock posted. “We were able to help perform preliminary testing of the belay system this weekend. Lucy declared it an easy 5.7.”

President Trump immediately tweeted that he thought a Border Playground sounded a lot better.  Nancy Pelosi welcomed the move and has agreed to drop the Impeachment Inquiry if she is given naming rights over the new play space.

There is no truth to the rumor that she wants to call it “Congress.”