Apr 06
Conveniently schedules it for cold and flu season.National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases Director Anthony Fauci said Sunday that it is likely the coronavirus will become a seasonal occurrence.
The infectious diseases expert told CBS’s “Face the Nation” that it’s likely the virus “will assume a seasonal nature” because it is unlikely to be contained around the world this year.
Apr 02
Pretty soon medical patients can say, “Remember the good old days when all we had to deal with was that chest cold virus they called Covid19?”
And just when you thought the government couldn’t out-stupid itself too.
Mar 30
Consider this: hitting a 6” target at 90 yards with a pistol! In the freezing cold! With a crosswind!
My polite vocab fails me.
Mar 19
Mar 16
Kicking off their audience-less debate, Biden and Sanders enjoyed an elbow bump as they greeted each other. When asked about a possible vice president, Biden said he will pick a woman to serve alongside him. Biden also reiterated his intent to appoint the first African American woman to the Supreme Court.
When asked about his running mate, Sanders said in “all likelihood” he would also select a woman. Leading contenders for Biden’s Veep include Kamala Harris, Elizabeth Warren, Stacey Abrams and Amy Klobuchar.
Biden later partially walked back some of the promise: “To the extent that I remember saying it at all, Stacey is a fine woman. In fact, she’s a clean, articulate, bright African-American. But she just doesn’t pass the ‘nuzzle test’. And you know how I like to nuzzle!”
The former Vice-President was hurried off stage by one of his care-takers.
Mar 16
The mainstream media isn’t reporting on this, but yesterday 4000 children, all of them under the age of 1 year old were killed. This epidemic has been going on for five decades, with the number of deaths is in the tens of millions. Observers cite unmitigated greed, lust, selfishness as contributing factors.
But who cares about unborn babies?
Meanwhile, in other news, a total of 60 people who were previously medically compromised died of a variant of the common cold. Panic ensues. Shelves stripped bare. Toilet paper in short supply.
#PerspectiveCheck.
Mar 16
Corona virus, not as much.Cardinal Dolan, head of the Archdiocese of New York, cancelled all Masses in his jurisdiction this past weekend. While hundreds of faithful Catholics were unable to attend worship services due to the strain of the common cold, some – shall we say – less faithful parishes experienced a precipitous drop in actual heresy.
On average, the archdiocese experienced a 70% drop in heresy, which marks its lowest level since Cardinal Dolan took over. One parish, the notorious St. Xavier’s, long been the sanctuary for sodomites and other disordered folks living in rebellion to the teachings of the Church, led the way with a whopping 112% decline in abominations.
Mar 13
Andy Stanley (a/k/a Joel Osteen of the East), pastor of the Northpoint Church franchise announced today that parishioners should no longer come to any of their campuses for services. Due to concerns over the spread of the CoronaVirus, Stanley who is the lead pastor of the second largest church in the country sent out the notice. Stanley added, however, that “the faithful can tune in online and contributions are still expected.”
Borrowing a page from the meal delivery service handbook, Stanley also noted that
“Deacons in hazmat suits will visit the homes of all members to collect the loot.”
And, in a manifestation of icing on the Supreme cake, Joy Behar, abrasive hostess of The View gabfest, announced that she was in self-imposed exile for a couple of weeks. Her advanced age was given as the reason.
Christians and pagans alike collectively sighed, “Finally. Some relief.”
