Reporterettes: We want to be treated like any man would be.

Meltdown follows when treated like any man would be.

Taubman: “I sincerely apologize for publicly thanking ‘you know who.'”

The Houston Astros have fired embattled assistant general manager Brandon Taubman after he allegedly gloated to three female reporters about the acquisition of pitcher Roberto Osuna, who was suspended for 75 games for domestic violence.    Osuna was never charged with any crime.

According to Wednesday’s report by Sports Illustrated‘s Stephanie Apstein, Taubman turned to three females after the team clinched the American League pennant on Saturday night and shouted: “Thank God we got Osuna! I’m so f***ing glad we got Osuna!” Taubman later apologized for the comment, uttered in excitement following the Astros clinching a spot in the World Series.

It was not clear if the reporterettes were offended by a) the fact that the Astros paid over $10 million to someone accused of domestic violence; b) that an assistant manager was glad that the Astros hired an accused domestic abuser; c) that the assistant manager dropped an “f-bomb”; or, d) that the assistant manager thanked God that the Astros paid $10 million for an accused domestic abuser.

A spokesman for the Astros said, “Any of those but ‘a)’ would be grounds for Taubman’s dismissal.”

Meanwhile, approximately 50,000 Houston Astros fans who were watching the game when relief pitcher (and accused domestic violence guy) Osuna delivered the Pennant victory were banned for life  when they said, “Thank God we got Osuna! I’m so f***ing glad we got Osuna!