Speaking San Franciscan.

Pelosis and Feinsteins are everywhere

Crime-ridden San Francisco has introduced new sanitized language for criminals, getting rid of words such as “offender” and “addict” while changing “convicted felon” to “justice-involved person.” According to the San Francisco Chronicle, from now on a convicted felon or an offender released from custody will be known as a “formerly incarcerated person,” or a “justice-involved” person or just a “returning resident.”

A juvenile “delinquent” will now be called a “young person with justice system involvement,” or a “young person impacted by the juvenile justice system.”  And drug addicts or substance abusers, meanwhile, will become “a person with a history of substance use.”

The Board of Supervisors adopted the changes last month even as the city reels from one of the highest crime rates in the country and staggering inequality exemplified by pervasive homelessness alongside Silicon Valley wealth.  The local officials say the new language will help change people’s views about those who commit crimes.

Additionally, the city also faces unprecedented levels of filth filling the streets.  To rehabilitate that reputation, references to “human feces” shall now be “Nancy Pelosi” while “used hypodermic needles” shall henceforth be called “Dianne Feinsteins.”

The local officials say the new language will help change people’s views about the city.