How to handle your IRS audit.

“I simply do not know where the money is.”

I’m sure that the IRS will totally understand.  If they look at you a little funny (you know, funnier than usual) then you simply tell them that your taxes were prepared by a former member of Congress, New Jersey Governor, and head of an international commodity brokerage firm.

I know, I know.  On the face of it, this kind of response seems like it might not be plausible.  But – no kidding – this is exactly what Jon Corzine (who was on a short list to be Obama’s Secretary of Treasury) is doing.   I’m thinkin’ Bernie Madoff wishes he thought of this defense.

If you or I ever have to give an accounting to the IRS, it is likely that it will be for our own money.  Not so with Corzine.  He cannot explain what happened to “many hundreds of millions of dollars” that the firm was holding for customers.

And if the Internal Revenue Service (I can only use that term when I consider how a bull services a cow) wants more credentials than that, remind them that their current boss, Secretary of Treasury Timothy F. Geithner, said that if you didn’t feel like it, you didn’t have to pay.

And here (thanks to Ann Barnhardt) is a preview to Corzine’s congressional testimony:

If none of that works for you, do not – I repeat, do not – tell the IRS about this post.

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