Where’s the money, MF?

Corzine gets his nose out of joint.

Jim Corzine, a former Democratic New Jersey senator and governor, resigned as CEO of the securities firm, MF Global last month.  An estimated $1.2 billion in client money is missing. Senators are demanding Corzine and two other executives at the securities firm explain who authorized the transfer of money in the days before the firm collapsed in the eighth-largest bankruptcy in U.S. history.  “I never gave any instruction to anyone at MF Global to misuse customer funds,” Corzine testified at a hearing of the Senate Agriculture Committee on Tuesday.

Not surprisingly, Bradley Abelow, the firm’s president and chief operating officer, and Henri Steenkamp, the chief financial officer, also tried to distance themselves from any decision to transfer the money at the hearing.

Brokers are required to keep client money separate from company funds.  “Funds don’t simply disappear. Someone took action, whether legal or illegal, to move that money. And the effect of that decision is being felt across the countryside,” said Kansas Sen. Pat Roberts, the committee’s top Republican.   Roberts said MF Global violated “a sacred rule of the futures industry,” keeping customer funds separate from the firm’s — and that it was the first time that had happened. “You don’t break the glass in regards to segregated funds.”

All three witnesses said that they don’t know where the money is.

Read the rest of the article here.

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Obama a Natural Born Citizen? Part II

Law school dean weighs in.

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Obama a Natural Born Citizen? Part I

Law school dean weighs in.

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Three dogs walk into a bar . . .

H/T to D. Bachert

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Wrong Diner.

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Rape just ain’t what it used to be.

According to the New York Daily News:

The FBI’s definition of “rape” is about to get a long-awaited update, for the first time since 1929.  The revamped description will be broader, pleasing activists who say the current definition leads to the low-balling of sexual assault cases, and also discourages victims to come forward.  An agency panel voted on Tuesday to change the narrow definition that’s currently in use.

While this change is all fine and good (I think), it is interesting that some federal agency panel votes and what was rape yesterday isn’t rape today and vice versa.  I didn’t know you could do that!

But I do have a suggestion for the panel:  why not create safe, clean places where rapes can take place instead of those nasty back alleys.  After all, regardless of the definition, rapes are going to occur.  And rapes are a difficult decision for a rapist to make.  Branding someone a “rapist” for the rest of his life is not only repressive to his reproductive freedom, it is just not very compassionate.

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It is more blessed to give than to receive.

So here’s a “giving” idea for you.

Every year people ask me, “what do you get for that special blogger who seems to have everything?”  It’s a common lament.  Well I’m nothing if not helpful.  Oh, and self-serving too.

So if you’re thinking about how you can show your appreciation for . . . say . . . me, here’s an idea.

Let me know if you need shipping instructions.

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How to handle your IRS audit.

“I simply do not know where the money is.”

I’m sure that the IRS will totally understand.  If they look at you a little funny (you know, funnier than usual) then you simply tell them that your taxes were prepared by a former member of Congress, New Jersey Governor, and head of an international commodity brokerage firm.

I know, I know.  On the face of it, this kind of response seems like it might not be plausible.  But – no kidding – this is exactly what Jon Corzine (who was on a short list to be Obama’s Secretary of Treasury) is doing.   I’m thinkin’ Bernie Madoff wishes he thought of this defense.

If you or I ever have to give an accounting to the IRS, it is likely that it will be for our own money.  Not so with Corzine.  He cannot explain what happened to “many hundreds of millions of dollars” that the firm was holding for customers.

And if the Internal Revenue Service (I can only use that term when I consider how a bull services a cow) wants more credentials than that, remind them that their current boss, Secretary of Treasury Timothy F. Geithner, said that if you didn’t feel like it, you didn’t have to pay.

And here (thanks to Ann Barnhardt) is a preview to Corzine’s congressional testimony:

If none of that works for you, do not – I repeat, do not – tell the IRS about this post.

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What could possibly go wrong?

It went down hill right after he said, “I think I’ve perfected” the mixture.

I laughed.  Is that wrong?

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Newt disgusts . . . even Newt.

At least he and I agree on something.

No doubt in response to the internationally acclaimed and world renowned blogger, Michael Hirsh, GOP presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich reversed field (I know . . . again) and said he would support legislation that defines “personhood as beginning at conception,” a reversal from his comments last week that life begins at “implantation.”

“As I have stated many times throughout the course of my public life, I believe that human life begins at conception,” a statement posted Saturday on Gingrich’s website read in part. “I believe that every unborn life is precious, no matter how conceived.”

Gingrich has been under fire from anti-abortion groups for telling Jake Tapper at ABC News last week that life begins at “implantation.”  You’re welcome!

Even if Newt names me as his Veep, he’s not gonna get my endorsement.  I should say ESPECIALLY if he names me as his Veep!

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